Bullies abound. EVERYWHERE. Take a quick inventory, or deeply reflect upon the people who populate your life. Are all your relationships well and good? Are you working on any damaged links to get back to fine? Excellent! Let’s move on to the rest…..the people in our lives, with or without our choosing, that are known as “Bullies”.
Wikipedia: “Bullying is a form of aggressive behavior manifested by the use of force or coercion to affect others, particularly when the behavior is habitual and involves an imbalance of power.”
Substitute passive aggressive and you’ve got typical human nature folks. Your day is probably studded with interrelations with this type of bully – necessitating an evening of Tums, Advil or a shot of vodka.
Bullies run rampant, many times moving in clusters or groups, and they have a common cause – to keep others from stripping them of their own imagined power over the rest of us.
Locker rooms, water coolers, hallways, parking lots, meeting rooms, playgrounds, cafeterias, family gatherings, churches, schools or any other place people interact – its always the same….someone (or “someones”) emerges as “The Bully”.
And bullies need their allies. The little piss-ant minions who are just the tool the bulls need to rock the equilibrium of their victims. Spy, negate, report, leverage, gossip, lie, bargain, or basically sell their soul to be accepted by the one who rejects the rest.
Is there anything meaner than a pack of middle school girls? Well, those girls grow up to become middle aged women. The elementary school kid who picks fights, suckers lunch money, threatens retaliation on the weak – they too grow up to be middle aged men. These people, the ones who think they have the power, Riggggghhhhttttt (wink, wink)…
These are the individuals who heckle our President and get away with it. The SOB who insults his laborers with with a grinding work schedule, no benefits, and “no hope for you” management style in an economy where any job is a good job. The person you work with that won’t let you finish a sentence because you might be right, and in their mind, that makes them wrong. The evil person who shot an innocent young man down while he walking home from the convenience store, talking to his girlfriend on his cell phone, and enjoying some Skittles. Tragic.
Bullies can be transparent, or obvious – and there is one universal reason why. Abject insecurity.
Consider this, the person who actively tries to destroy, hold back, ruin a reputation, play judge and jury, gossip, lie, injure, damage, pretend to care, or any other nasty thing they can think of to another human being, does not have the self confidence to do a true good deed. Any act of kindness is instantly negated by their historical behavior against their current or past victims. Period.
My son, diagnosed Autistic, does not have the type of ego that lends to being a bully. He is the one who has been bullied most of his life. Entering adulthood, he is a strong and capable young man. I am very proud to say, he is NOT a bully. Our family is learning every day, and we are grateful to be here, together – blessed knowing our purpose in this life.
Let go of “ego”. Live a day without saying (or thinking) “I”. Smile in the face of someone who is being horrible to you. Love your enemy. Sit with the unpopular person at lunch and listen to what they have to say. Dare not to care what people think. Walk away from gossip. Don’t be selfish. Go to church and listen. Stay home and heal. Get out of your own way. Learn to say what you mean and not what they want to hear. Take a chance. Be nice, it really does matter. Push someone else up the ladder instead of knocking them off “your” rung. Choose your words more wisely. Don’t gossip. Don’t react. Dance with the short man who had the nerve to ask. And above all else, remember this, perception creates reality.
Perceive a world without bullies. ~ Wendy Frye
“A lot of people are afraid to tell the truth, to say no. That’s where toughness comes into play. Toughness is not being a bully. It’s having backbone.” Robert Kiyosaki