Who me?

Autism Moms are renowned (and loathed) in their studies and implementation of biomedical interventions along with myriad of nontraditional therapies to help their child recover a measure of health for developmental purposes. Children and adults diagnosed on the Autism Spectrum have been known to present digestive issues, distress and even dysfunction – that includes multiple allergies, sensitivities to foods and an assortment of other immune system issues.

I too am one of “Those Autism Moms” – spending hours and hours over the years studying the immune system, digestive processes, brain injuries, supplements, hormones, and the like to collect “keys” on my ring that I’ve been gathering to hopefully open peep holes and portals of insight to improve health of my son.

KREBS Cycle? Memorized – test me. Multiple Phenolic sulfatase deficiencies in neurological studies? Own it. Secretin? Bought the last vial. Mitochondrial diseases? All over it. My medical dictionary? Worn out and in need of a replacement. Neutrogenomics protocol? Doing it. How to recover someone from a brain injury? Certified. How smart am I you ask? Well it really depends how you look at it. Let me explain,…….

I rolled out of bed this morning late, exhausted, chubby, puffy, overweight – having eaten processed “Frankenfood” last night (complete with gluten, nitrates and yeast), drank Aspartame laden diet soda and a sulfite laden glass of Chardonnay the night before – what exactly does this make me?

Hmmmm……which one will I apply appropriately today? Hypocrite? Martyr? Both simultaneously?

Hypocrite:

  • : a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings

Martyr:

  • :a person who sacrifices something of great value and especially life itself for the sake of principle

My general practitioner is a really nice, young Chinese gal who too is a mother. She works part-time (which I appreciate) to spend extra time with her young children. This can’t be so bad, going to a western educated and trained physician. I am a little extreme in views of conventional medicine, but really, how much will this hurt to have someone to call when I need an antibiotic or massage referral?

I really didn’t know what to think during my first appointment, it’s been years since I’ve seen a doctor to call my own. Upon meeting, we must have both been a little uptight. However, for her it had to be a little overwhelming – all of 28 years old, 5 feet tall and taking the helm in front of a 40 something, battle scared (and ready), 6 foot blonde self-professed Autism Mom.

How comical, the two of us in that little room. Me wearing a paper gown – and the tiny professional balancing her laptop while firing questions at me sideways all in an attempt to get to know me during our 4 minute appointment.

Her best quality had to have been the blue toe-nail polish…..yep; she paints her toes blue making her just a little more real to me. I was ready, committed to cleaning up a couple of bad habits (ex-smoker here) and accept her help when necessary to get and keep healthy. It went pretty well. Good to go for another year, ready to tackle a couple of things in the name of good health.

A year later, during my annual physical, we met again. I’m the one in the paper gown, she again at her laptop table firing off “doctorish” questions of a general nature. “Are you still cigarette free?” She asks. “Yes, yes I am!” I reply. “I am also happy to tell you I managed to wean myself off that anti-depressant I was taking for the last 10 years. I really don’t need it anymore.” Her look from across the room was one of utter shock. I explained that I looked into the process, took the steps necessary, and was gentle with myself for a couple of weeks….BOOM! No more drugs for me! Aren’t you pleased Dr. Blue Toes?

Nope, she was not pleased, not at all. Up went her eyebrow, “Mrs. Frye. When was your last Tetanus shot?” “Last year.” (Bald faced lie – I will never take another vaccination.) “You know, you’ve gained 29 pounds since last year, studies show that ex-smokers gain up to 10% of their body weight upon quitting.” “Have you considered Weight Watchers yet?” (WTF? Did she just call me fat and then smile at me?) I smiled wryly back at her.

She continues…..”Are you still taking a multiple vitamin?” “Yes, we believe in supplements for maintaining good health in our home.” I explained. “Well, I can tell you that a multiple vitamin does no good and you don’t need to take it.” “Oh, REALLY? Where did you read that?” I asked. “Oh, I don’t know some medical paper somewhere.” (Seriously, does she think anyone is that stupid to believe this statement?)

Our appointment was almost up – one blood test, and a mammogram appointment later, I left with my annual massage therapy prescription, the only redeeming quality of the whole appointment. How flabbergasted could I be that day…..UNBELIVEABLE! Yes, I am fat – I get that – but REALLY…..yes, really…..I really am fat, unhealthy and out of shape. She was right, spot on correct. “Blue toes” called me out, insulting me just enough to motivate me to action.

It just takes one annoying person to push the right button that rings the bell of determination. I have come crashing out of denial. It’s time. It is time to walk the talk, own the processes I preach restoring ME to well, fine and good. With everything I know I should be a triathlete – brandishing exceptional health with the biological age of 18. I must thank my doctor someday. Maybe I will wait until next year’s annual physical. I will wear blue toe nail polish and we will chat about the weather, finish a routine exam and become her most boring patient ever! ~ Wendy Frye

“Natural forces within us are the true healers of disease.” ~ Hippocrates

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2 thoughts on “Who me?

  1. Well, I know that living it once in a while doesn’t make you a bad human! Especially since I already know you’re the opposite. Your personal doctoid needs a residency in humanity for the love of God! I’m guessing you’ve got about a 150 IQ…which might lead to being a perpetual smart ass, but that’s no sin either!

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