Grown

I am the proud mother of two sons. Both adults now – one a Senior in High School and the eldest, diagnosed on the autism spectrum so long ago that it really doesn’t matter.

The burdens of raising children in this day and age are quite remarkable. It has to be said with todays technology we can loose touch with each other in a home more often than keeping in touch with children being sucked into the vortex of social media. Never looking up from the dinner table is not my idea of time well spent.

Since retiring early from a sparkling career to care for my eldest, we’ve finally hit a time that we could come together as more of a family. With the sacrifices of raising a special needs child, i.e. the monetary outlay, abbreviated social life, appointments and therapies, it can be said that our earlier years were a blur and nothing to be envied.

So, now, when it’s actually legal for me to run away (oh ya, I won’t lie, it’s not a thought but a fantasy) we have pulled in and are actually enjoying each other. Call it upside-down and backwards – but we are now living forward.

I never got to (had to) drive either of my sons to a soccer game. I’ll leave that pleasure to other parents. Neither of my sons played sports, one couldn’t and the other wouldn’t. While we missed out on all the extra-curricular activities I hear other parents bitch about (no time to themselves, the expense, the coaches, the juggling of a calendar) its all good.

But hey. I can’t even describe how wonderful it is to be dragged out of bed way too early on a Saturday morning by my eldest, The Artist!, who wants to show off his newest graphic art work. Always a surprise – this man is going places. Need more coffee on those mornings.

Or, watching my youngest son, also technically an adult, gain success at school. He’s growing outward and finally enjoying unique activities that appeal to him. Ecentric, smart, shall I say dapper? We love going to thrift stores to score another vintage pair of jeans, or a Pendleton wool flannel to wear overseas when he visits Europe this spring.

Who else can claim that even though the new eclectic movie by Wes Anderson “The Grand Budapest Hotel” isn’t showing in our city, yet, still holds enough interest that we will be re-creating their signature confection this weekend. Why, that would be me – any my youngest! This little sumptuous ditty requires a trip to the farmers market for the best cream available plus a run to the local german import store for the finest chocolate from Bavaria. “Courtesan Au Chocolate” – on the menu. And no, I’m not sharing.

Tonight, we’ve already planned whats for dinner. I’ve gathered up some great nibbles and drinks to watch the next episode of “The Vikings”…one of our favorite historical shows – together. We four Fryes.

I am lucky. Twenty five years this July, married to the same great guy, two adult sons who are finding success in their own way….with some tasty treats along the way. And even though, deep in our hearts, we would have preferred a different outcome than being lifetime caregivers…..we are still miles ahead when it comes to appreciating family. And now, finally coming to a time when we feel a little more normal than not as a family. Our little, teeny tiny, family.

(Oh, I should add the tag-line about the two horrible little white dogs count around here too.)

Enjoy the day! ~ Wendy Frye

“Everybody thought I was a bit of an eccentric for wanting to be out there looking at the stars, but I still do.” ~ Brian May

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Spring Break

Took a quick break to phone home today. The boys and my husband are home for Spring Break – no bikini beach getaways, just a Dad and his boys, the oldest on the Autism Spectrum, at home for the week…..with nothing especially pressing to do (obviously).

Husband:
(ring, ring, ring, ring, ring…..) “Whew, HELLO????, (slurp, burp, breathe deep, exhale)..

Wife:
“Honey? What in the world are you doing?”

Husband:
“It’s a BIG match!” “Playing Kinnect golf”, “Just hit an EAGLE babe!”…

Wife:
“…oh, cool…”

Husband:
“Oh, yeah! I’m doing a full on celebration dance!, got my butt wiggling, the younger son is getting physically ill and the dogs ran upstairs!” “I’m a winner, I’m a winner, I’m THE winner, winner CHICKENNNNNNN Dinner!” (Can’t be pretty)

“Hey Hon, glad you called – can you pick up some toilet paper on your way home from work? Oh, and I should have a cold beer as an award for my EAAAAAGLE!….” (Seriously, and I’ve been working all day?)

Younger son in background:

“Ice cream, vanilla with chocolate Magic Shell, please!”

Older son in background:

“Pizza! and Diet Coke for me!”

Husband:

“You should have SEEEENNNNN my shot!”

Younger son still in background:

“Don’t ignore me.” “Don’t ignore my request, Mom!”

Oldest son:

“Hey, you always forget me!” “What about mine?!?”

I start making the list.

Husband back from celebrating and out of breath:

“Did you get it all?”

Needed to check reception, took the receiver and bashed in on my desktop at work, one, two, three times – just to be sure. I startled everyone in the entire credit union. And now that I had my husbands full attention:

“Seriously?” “After working all day?”

Husband:

“I can’t go, it’s nearly a 3 way tie, your oldest shot over 300 yards on his drive and the youngest has your smack talk gene”….”gotta go”……

Perfect.

On my way home from work I stopped at the grocery store. Picked up all the items on the list and returned home. The boys will remain out of psychotherapy for having their snack needs abandoned. And I? I was rewarded with a hot dinner, ready on the table, with three happy men at my sides. I heard about every shot, slice, divot, swear word, and who smelled the worst with sweat.

“Everyone in the shower!” I announced……

Tonight, before bed, I wrote out tomorrows “Honey Do” lists. Punishment? Maybe. But not really, only adding laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning and of course, a little Kinnect golf. Why not?

Battle on boys, battle on! ~ Wendy Frye

“I realized my family was funny, because nobody ever wanted to leave our house.”
~Anthony Anderson